Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly

23 Aug

An opportunistic garden spider has somehow got into my car overnight and spun a web across the windscreen. While I admire its entrepreneurial spirit it’s going to be a very hungry spider unless the local flies have also had themselves a key cut.

It’s also going to be a prematurely dead spider once my inherent arachnophobia overrules my attempt at tolerance of all things with 8 legs and an unnatural number of eyes.

It shouldn’t really surprise me that the countryside is teeming with insects. There is an abundance of woodlice living underneath pretty much everything – by the time I’ve finished this blog post I can almost guarantee there will be at least one unpacking a suitcase on the bottom of my coffee cup.

The insect situation isn’t helped by the orgy of hilariously-proportioned home grown vegetables that people have taken to leaving outside their front doors adorned with handwritten notes saying “please help yourself” – half the time it’s the local wildlife rather than the people who are taking advantage of the offer, judging by the decimated offerings which frequently remain.

Today curiosity got the better of me and I actually did help myself – to a marrow of epic proportions. As well as a bag of runner beans. In terms of vegenomics the bean is mightier than the marrow it seems – I had to leave 50p in a jam jar for those.

Perhaps I am completely misreading the situation and that wheelbarrow full of giant marrows outside No 51 means something altogether different – in which case I should probably have left my house keys rather than my loose change.

Honesty boxes are all the rage around here. From the doorstep grocery shops to the office canteen. Even the car parks have them. I have developed a sliding scale of honesty box principles, in which being a few pence short for a cup of tea at work or a parking spot is OK, but undercutting the marrow man is not.

I noticed though, as I fished around inside the jam jar for some change (I only had a pound coin on me) that someone else had only chosen to pay 30p for their beans. Maybe creatures with many legs and/or wings get a discount.

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2 Responses to “Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly”

  1. k August 31, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

    oh, honesty boxes! i love that people put out a little tray of things they have a surfeit of to share with others. i wonder if anyone has ever attempted this in London?!

    • zskdorset August 31, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

      I love it too but I don’t think they would last 2 seconds in London… when I was moving house I put a (broken) DVD player on the doorstep while I went in to get another bag to take to the tip. by the time I returned 5 seconds later, it had vanished… and nobody had left me any cash!

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