Who wants to be a WAG?

12 Sep

A new dating service aimed at women who want to go out with footballers has sprung up on the net. There is a need for this service, claims becomeawag.com, (incidentally run by a man) because “millions” of females “aspire” to be the wife/girlfriend of a footballer and, argues the site, “why wouldn’t they?”

Well, hold on to your hair extensions, girls, because for the bargain price of twenty quid your picture can be placed under the nose of a footballer who may or may not be in the Premier League, and may or may not send you a crude sex text – sorry, get in touch. They also encourage you to fill in a questionnaire but there’s no suggestion that this actually gets read.

Generally I am anti-censorship but if there was a secret “off” switch down the back of the internet I’d be reaching for it right now because this sort of thing makes me bra-burningly angry. Blogger Zoe Margolis has been raging about it for most of the day on Twitter – quite rightly.

The perks of being a WAG claims the site are shopping, partying and fame. So far so shallow. There’s no mention of the downside – your partner working weekends for most of the year, having to stick to a specialist diet for training oh, and quite possibly copping off with the first 19 year old with a boob job who looks at him twice.

And those are just the ones who aren’t desperately hiding in the closet because, infeasibly, it is still not the done thing for a footballer to be gay.

Perhaps universities and colleges should start running WAG courses, in which one learns where to spend £2000 on a tracksuit and how to tip off the paparazzi when you absolutely don’t want to have your photo taken as you just happen to be emerging from the sea looking sunkissed and immaculate in a tiny bikini.

Although given that neither footballers nor their WAGs are renowned for their intelligence these courses would, by definition of the fact that they require a) commitment and b) study, be too advanced for their target market.

Poster WAGs according to becomeawag.com include Abbey Clancey and Coleen Rooney, both of whom, if the tabloids are to be believed, have been royally shafted by their other halves in recent weeks. Nice work if you can get it, eh ladies?

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