here hare here

28 Sep

I never thought I would say this, because it scares me, but there’s a slight hint of Withnail and I about my life down here.

Remember the scene where the poacher leaves the game on the Richard E Grant and Paul McGann’s doorstep with the immortal note “here, hare, here” pinned to it?

Well.

There’s a home-made sign near a roundabout not far from here which is supposed to be promoting an event. Whoever is responsible for it has been trying out a variety of marketing ploys in order to attract potential passing trade.

When it first arrived, it bore the marvellous legend “yer tiz”.

Say it slowly, out loud, with a Dorset burr and it becomes, of course, “here it is”. Once I’d figured this out I laughed so much I almost crashed the car. However I was none the wiser as to what “it” was or exactly where “yer” was supposed to be – there was nothing afoot either on or near the roundabout that I could see.

A couple of days later yer tiz had been replaced by the more succinct but equally baffling “Happening”. Today we have retreated further down the sound-bite route and lost the last syllable.

“Happen” proclaims the board proudly. As my best mate pointed out, perhaps once the moment for whatever-it-is has passed we will be treated to the phrase “happened”. And it will all be over. Whatever it was.

The one-word promo is very popular down here. “SHOW!” proclaimed a big sign outside a farm near Dorchester. When you got really close, you could just about read, handwritten in biro “horses and dogs”. As if they were the most natural pairing the world has ever seen.

Even the pros are at it – a gig for a high profile local band was advertised with the word “Wurzel” and a mobile phone number painted over an old Estate Agent “for sale” sign. Because honestly, what more do you need?

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3 Responses to “here hare here”

  1. zskdorset September 29, 2010 at 8:00 am #

    It’s changed again this morning to “Be There”.

  2. aimee September 29, 2010 at 8:32 am #

    ok 🙂 with that kind of persuasive power, sign me up!

    • zskdorset September 29, 2010 at 8:42 am #

      let’s go! if only we knew where…

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