Where did all the carol singers go?

16 Dec

The carpet is full of pine needles, some rather random internet purchases are slowly making their way south and I am already way ahead of time on the chocolate advent calendar front.

So far so festive – but with just nine days to go there is one key ingredient which is sorely missing.

Where are all the carol singers? Surely if you are in a choir then Christmas is like an annual World Cup for you. You get to set up camp in high streets, parks, pubs, wherever the hell you like, and indulge in a quick burst of Little Donkey. People stop, smile, take your photo and put some money in a bucket for your chosen charity/your next round of drinks.

The only live carol singing I have heard in public this year was at a trade union demonstration in which they had cunningly reworked the lyrics of Jingle Bells to say meaningful things about government spending cuts.

Neat… but not really in the spirit of things.

A few years ago I organized a photoshoot of 62 people called Carol, who all sang We Wish You A Merry Christmas until we got the perfect picture. Perhaps that was what filled my quota. I still can’t hear that particular ditty without wincing slightly.

That aside, I’m sure we used to get carol singers knocking on the front door and warbling the first verse of Little Town of Bethlehem in exchange for 50p and a mini mince pie. This year, not a single one has piped up outside the house.

Perhaps they’ve been put off by all the hysteria over the cold weather.

It doesn’t seem to be deterring the Jehovah’s Witnesses though. We’ve had a steady stream of those. I wish they could be a bit more useful – combining a spot of Godchat with delivering a package from Amazon for example. It would clear the backlog in no time and do wonders for their profile.

Alternatively perhaps they would get a warmer response if they belted out a chorus of Silent Night instead of waving that Watchtower pamphlet at you when you came to the door.

Because if God really loves us he/she is not going to inflict a terrible performance on us is he/she? Just ask Simon Cowell. On second thoughts…

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2 Responses to “Where did all the carol singers go?”

  1. Phil Edwards December 17, 2010 at 12:32 am #

    Jehovaha’s witnesses, Christmas and celebrating?

    They don’t celebrate anything. Well the ones I hung out with last New Year, didn’t. They celebrate nowt apparently. Boring sods. Not sure what the hell they’re all about. They like a drink though, so we bonded.

    Always enjoy your writing Zoe. Top notch! You should do it for a living. 🙂

    And you should marry someone who does filming for a living. Oh!

    Congrats again on the baby. Exciting times.

  2. Phil Edwards December 17, 2010 at 12:34 am #

    PS.

    I’m looking forward to the carol singers around my way.

    We always whack out a rousing rendition of Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs”. In a festive stylee of course.

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