AA Gill’s job is safe

6 Jan

strange food

A beef yorkshire wrap. Not sure where to begin with this.

I got into serious trouble in a previous life for writing a feature about the expensively-revamped work canteen and saying that the haute cuisine bolognaise sauce tasted just like tinned tomato soup.

That pretty much marked both the beginning and the end of my career as a restaurant critic, a fact that clearly escaped the PR manager today who asked me to pose underneath a cafe sign so that she could post onto Facebook that I had been there.

I was almost stunned into submission. Last time I checked I was not the kind of person upon whom the masses based their dining choices, unless she had mistaken me for Egon Ronay. And as he is a) male and b) dead I sincerely hope that was not the case.

Another key point to bear in mind is that I hadn’t actually eaten there. Or had anything to drink. According to my audio recorder I was in the cafe for exactly 12 minutes, recording an interview with someone for work.

I can tell you that my chair was comfortable, and that once the music was turned off and the eastern European cleaners had stopped chatting, it was pretty quiet. But somehow I don’t think that’s going to boost trade very much.

“Daphne, we must visit that place where the girl from the BBC sat – apparently it’s got fabulous acoustics,” is unlikely to ring out across the sofas of middle England any time soon.

So I declined the photograph. I’m not allowed to do that kind of thing anyway but in any case I can think of about 10 million more suitable people than me to pose for a grip/grin.


6 Responses to “AA Gill’s job is safe”

  1. Phil Edwards January 6, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    Two things about that photo.

    Firstly – beef wrapped in Yorkshire pud? Noooooo; that’s soooo wrong on so many levels. Pick ’em up and use them as baseballs/

    Secondly – the picture is transposed. “Crabbies” the wrong way round? That’s grounds for treachery.

    Finally – ok that’s three things – nice restaurant “review”. Was it a BBC canteen? Better that A.A. Gill, but not as good as Michael (do you know who I am?) Winner.


    Check; http://edwarp09.blogspot.com/ – not been updated for ages!

  2. zskdorset January 6, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    I promise the pic is mine! But yeah I had to resize it and it got flipped in WordPress. Will take another look. But yes it was very wrong – it was supposed to be a soothing hangover lunch in Portsmouth after a wedding a while ago!

    The canteen wasn’t BBC – I’ll leave that to the professionals 😉

  3. almost witty January 7, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    Well, at least you got asked in the first place! You must be the glammest TV star in Dorset – well, aside from Billy Bragg…

    Now I want to try a beef yorkshire wrap. For evaluation purposes, of course…

  4. zskdorset January 9, 2011 at 8:40 pm #

    it was a very strange lunch. stodgy enough to help with a hangover though!

  5. Becky Wicks January 10, 2011 at 10:58 pm #

    Mmmmmm sausage rolls and gravy, I MISS THE UK!!! I have to say, telling facebook your location is very scary and that’s a step too far, even for me, a serious addict.

    I do think you should be a food critic every once in a while though, I love your take on greasy spoons at least ;-p

  6. zskdorset January 17, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    food does seem to be a bit of a recurring theme in this blog! can’t think why 🙂

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