Tag Archives: aviator sunglasses

Declaring war on my wardrobe

6 Jun

I think I need a new stylist

In exactly eight weeks I resume my alter-ego as a city-based technology journalist after a year of maternity leave.

I am hugely excited (there are only so many times one can pretend that a “let’s play and learn” toy which sings Pollywollydoodle every now and then is in fact a high tech mobile device), more than a little bit daunted (I don’t remember midday naps or 3pm biscuit breaks featuring very highly during the average news shift) – and feeling like Gok Wan‘s worst nightmare after two years of country living followed by motherhood.

I wouldn’t say my wardrobe wasn’t pretty. If anything, it’s too pretty. Everything has a bloody pattern on it. It’s like I’ve been possessed by Cath Kidston.

I don’t even know where my LBD is, my favourite stilettos are inexplicably covered in mould, my Aviator sunglasses are missing an arm and my trendy white jacket was obviously designed to shrink the further away it got from its birthplace on the Kings Road because it’s bloody tiny now and I can’t have scoffed that many cream cakes while I was pregnant, can I? (For your own safety, don’t answer that).

So today I hit the shops. One thing that seems to happen when you become a parent is that it is suddenly impossible to go into any major clothing store without somehow willing yourself into the kids section. I spent five minutes rifling through a rail of black trousers before I realised I was looking for size 9-12 months. To be fair I don’t really know what size I am anymore anyway – there isn’t much point in comparing something that actually requires a waistline with a maxi dress and it has been a very long time since I poured myself into the former.

I can’t go back to work in the same clothes I was wearing when I left – psychologically that would feel pretty weird. I need a new look for the new me.

Besides, i didn’t have hips you could balance a pint on back then.

My friend Becky has just returned to LA after six months in Bali and the first thing she did was get a supersharp haircut. I tried channeling her but all I ended up doing was forking out £14 on an eyebrow pencil while the baby was snoozing. Well, there is no way he would have survived a 3hr highlights & blow-dry session. Neither would my marriage.

Maybe the trick is to invest in a few boring old dark trousers and shirts until I rediscover my style (and start getting paid again). Or maybe I should go back all guns blazing in my favourite summer dress with the Russian Doll prints all over it, cardigan with stubborn stain where firstborn has wiped his nose and the freebie flip-flops from a hotel in Indonesia that are juuuuust about holding together.

What do you wear to work?